So this VelonewsDude comes in from Colorado and lines up against the local 4's including a cast of future KC Sandbagger candidates and absolutely destroys them. By the time the whistle blew, the Elway-lover was halfway around the race track and was GONE. And to add insult to injury, he probably finished off the damn keg before hightailing it out of town. All I know is when I started pumping the barrel, nothing but foam came out. (must've slathered on too much Butt'r)
On a scale of 1 to 10, this dude scores an 18. +5 for traveling 500 miles to pick on our "beginners". +3 for douchey-Velonews kit.
Poser does UCI Boulder a few times in 08, then opens the 09 season with a ONE DAY LICENSE!
ReplyDeleteNiiiiccccceeeeee.
Studnicki's blog asked if Lance Armstrong is a 'bagger for skipping the Giro to do the Tour of Cali. Interesting when you think about it. Is he?
ReplyDeleteWhen Lance does these smaller races, he doesn't always try to win them. It'd be a dick move. That, I think is the difference.
ReplyDeleteSir r5: There are ways of telling whether he is a sandbagger.
ReplyDeletePeasant 1: Are there? Oh well, tell us.
Sir r5: Tell me. What do you do with sandbaggers?
Peasant 1: Burn them.
Sir r5: And what do you burn, apart from sandbaggers?
Peasant 1: More sandbaggers.
Peasant 2: Wood.
Sir r5: Good. Now, why do sandbaggers burn?
Peasant 3: ...because they're made of... wood?
Sir r5: Good. So how do you tell whether the sandbagger is made of wood?
Peasant 1: Build a bridge out of him?
Sir r5: But can you not also build bridges out of stone?
Peasant 1: Oh yeah.
Sir r5: Does wood sink in water?
Peasant 1: No, no, it floats!... It floats! Throw him into the pond!
Sir r5: No, no. What else floats in water?
Peasant 1: Bread.
Peasant 2: Apples.
Peasant 3: Very small rocks.
Peasant 1: Cider.
Peasant 2: Gravy.
Peasant 3: Cherries.
Peasant 1: Mud.
Peasant 2: Churches.
Peasant 3: Lead! Lead!
King Arthur: A Duck.
Sir r5: ...Exactly. So, logically...
Peasant 1: If the sandbagger weighed the same as a duck... he's made of wood.
Sir r5: And therefore...
Peasant 2: ...A SANDBAGGER!
r5 is now making money from the sandbaggery of others with google ads? Well done, r5. A true capitalist.
ReplyDeleteI heard that the officials made him race cat4
ReplyDeleteThis is the velonews racer from this season
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
I never new Rick A. raced 'cross.
ReplyDeleteAnd speaking of wood, I think I have a thing for cartoon characters: http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/imgad?id=CNSKrNHf-u-yvgEQrAIY-gEyCAHhJRXD9O5t
Leave Elway out of this. He was a fine quarterback. Slightly better than Elvis Grbac.
ReplyDelete"I never new Rick A. raced 'cross."
ReplyDeleteHe was more famous for this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qb_hqexKkw8
We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
We've know each other for so long
Your heart's been aching
But you're too shy to say it
Inside we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it
[ Find more Lyrics on http://mp3lyrics.org/ak5 ]
And if you ask me how I'm feeling
Don't tell me you're too blind to see
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Repeat Chorus
Give you up, give you up
Give you up, give you up
Never gonna give,
Never gonna give, give you up
Never gonna give,
Never gonna give, give you up
Last four lines repeated
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand
Chorus times three
Hey fellas! whats that i smell in this blog? Hmmmm, is that baby poop?
ReplyDeleteThe Cyclocross Crybaby Blog said...
ReplyDelete"Hey fellas! whats that i smell in this blog? Hmmmm, is that baby poop?"
Dude...your "baby" has a boner.....you MAY want to rethink your blog splash. I'm guessing you were called "Chilmo" in your last lockup? I'm sure you and Freud are tight but stand down soldier.
That looks like a full diaper, not a baby boner, just my opinion.
ReplyDeletehis name looks like something you'd find on the CIA's most wanted terrorist list.....
ReplyDeleteMaybe he didn't know how his body would handle Low Altitude?
ReplyDeletethis blog makes me want to go take a bottle of sleeping pills and liten to "match box 20"
ReplyDeleteIf this guy wants to Manufacture or engineer controversy that springs up in Missouri then he might as well throw Play-doh at us. diving, hunting or fishing around the results trying to get cyclist to eat their own is just weird.
ReplyDeleteIts a sub culture similar to the dead poets society, a last crusade of blazing saddles. So for the love of the sport drop this cat up ultimatum you have presented in this blog.
The rest of us need to sit down and read a good Steven king book, maybe Clancy or ludlum or just get out and Pedal.
Bitches!
Anonymous said...
ReplyDelete"So for the love of the sport drop this cat up ultimatum you have presented in this blog."
Waaaayyyy past that point Spanky. The natives are restless for justice and sacrifice!