Wheelie-Kool!

What the hell is in the water up north of the river? Seems to have shrunk the balls of many racer wannabes.

TrainWrong and NimWit, have spent THREE FRIGGIN YEARS slummin it in the 5's with dozens of mass starts and consistent top 10 finishes and even a couple of wins. Time for these two in the yellow and blue to CTFU and make some room for Cookie.

BTW- Bonebender totally put the area road scene to SHAME with a turnout greater than all the road races this year. Beer, hotdogs, and babes: shit you never see roadies get a sniff of. While you shaved leg weenies are drinking your recovery concoctions, we're taking recovery rides with your wives.

Forced Baggin'

Tell r5 how this makes sense:
"The 2010 NEET criterium series is drawing 75% of its riders from category 1-3. As a result, beginning April 6 the "A" event will consist of category 1-3 riders and the "B" event will host categories 4-5."

Cat4's have been doing the A-race for years without a problem. Some of them finish in the top 10. Even some 5's have snuck in on occasion. So why the change now? r5's guess is that 360 wants the equivalent of taking the ball home and not letting anyone else play.
This is what typically happens in the B-race: about 10 guys simply ride off the front without having to attack while the remaining 30 dudes time trial for about 30 minutes. Pack skills learned= ZERO. Cornering skills learned= ZERO.
What do you think will happen when you force the Cat4's who have been hangin in the A-race at 28mph to ride the B-race where the average speed is closer to 21? Its gonna be 40 dudes who paid $60 to ride in a bike rodeo. The 4's might as well go hammer the yuppie racer wanna-bes group rides like Blue Moose. At least thats free and they probably won't have to look at any stupid ass 360 jerseys.

And BTW, if you were part of the pack that dropped out last night after the rain, then you should be forced to do the B-race because you're a bunch of pussies.

Smokin' Tweed

r5 was a little sick of having grown men starin at his spandexed ass so instead of playing Nascar on bikes, he sandbagged the "Tweed Ride." r5 easily scored the hole shot and trounced the field, even having enough time to button up his vest and straighten his mustache at the finish line, finally experiencing what its like to be a true 'bagger. The most glorious part of the day though? Not a single 360 jersey in sight! Truly a happy Easter indeed.

Merry Crits-Mass

r5 thinks is pretty damn cool that Santa Fe Bikes gets all these people into racing. There was nothin but a sea of black and gold at the latest Spring Flings cuz all the other posers in town are too scared of a little moisture. (thats what she said) What happened to all the Bike Shack and Cycle City baggers that used to populate the 5's?

Gotta say a couple things though: this is a damn crit, so whats up with the JB'ing up front and dudes all on their hoods? I only see one dude in proper racing position. He will be a future sandbagger for sure.

NEET-O!

Whats up with you wusses taking smoke breaks last night? Its a CRIT- NOT A UNION JOB! Looks like r5 wasn't the only one pounding sacks of Cheetos in mama's basement over the winter.
BTW, road racing boring. Cross is for real man.

Masters-bation

Poor poor masters racers! How dare those crash-5's interfere with your race! How dare that ambulance hauling out a seriously injured rider block the course! Who wants to get blood on their precious crabon-fiber bike?!
For you masters riders who bitched about the 5's crashing and holding you up, go fuck yerselves and enjoy your DQ!

Theo Bos-Hog

Pop quiz:
Matt can be found off the front because:
a) he's sandbaggin
b) no one wants to be anywhere near him

r5 has given him his official nickname: The Mummy because he's always wrapped up in gauze.