Way to take it like a man, Matt. We love ya! Or at least Steve V does, but he told that to me in confidence so i'd appreciate it if you don't repeate it.
I hope the people who think this guy should cat up to 2 aren't the same people who have talked shit about him crashing. When you have the ability to be at the front of nearly every race you enter and you're in the mix to win it, shit is going to happen. Yeah more racing experience is what he needs, but as far as I'm concerned he should have every right to stay a 3 for another season if he wants.
Anonymous @9:07: His seat aint too high. His ass is too thick. He looks about as pudgy as that Butterball dude. I bet he snacks on tubs of Parkay. Being fat doesn't seem to hold you back around here in these weak ass Kansas races.
My favorite thing about Matt is watching him physically dominate a bunch of 140lb 35 year olds with erectile disfunction that restrict their lifestyles more than professional racers do, and pay their coach $200 a month just to learn they've achieved the status of pack fill in the Cat 3 peloton.
"My favorite thing about Matt is watching him physically dominate a bunch of 140lb 35 year olds with erectile disfunction that restrict their lifestyles more than professional racers do, and pay their coach $200 a month just to learn they've achieved the status of pack fill in the Cat 3 peloton."
What's up dude? You have a man-crush on him? Maybe you could offer to shave his legs or better yet be his fluffer before races.
If people were required to show an adequate amount of bike handling skills, Matt would never have gotten as far as he has. I have seen the aftermath of his destruction. For the person that said shit happens when you are at the front should know that it usually happens when he is there. It's not a coincident.
I saw this dude at the papillon crit last year appear miraculously from being totally dropped in the crit to being in the front somehow? thinking he caught the leading group when they passed him and finished with them. The officials on that race sucked last year and didn't catch it to pull him. So he might be kind of a cheat as well.
Nowhere in his race history does it show any kind of result for that race. Do you have some evidence of him wrongfully taking his place at the podium? Seems like an extraordinary claim.
Actually, that claim made by Zeus is pretty extraordinary and completely false. Obviously he didn't see all of the race or wasn't paying that close of attention. Both myself and another teammate watched that whole race very intently and witnessed Matt bridge the gap from the main group to the breakaway group. Calling someone a cheat is a pretty serious claim and way out of line.
You Go Eric Stull Zeus is the real cheat by the way he killed his father Kronos and chained Prometheus to the Carcasses Mountains to have his liver ate by Vultures at dawn.. Zeus is a real shit stirrer. I will grant you free and safe access to all of the worldly Seas and Oceans and Rivers for that heroic defense of your teammate..
To take fair passage and proper flight through the troubled waters of this Epic tale. In search of Moby Dick "Matt " AKA "the White Whale" Eric "Starbuck" Stull Starbuck, first mate turns to Ahab and speaks his MIND.
Eric STULL STARBUCK: To be enraged with a dumb brute that acted out of blind instinct is blasphemous. Captain Ahab: Speak not to me of blasphemy, man; I'd strike the sun if it insulted me. Look ye, Eric Stull Starbuck, all visible objects are but as pasteboard masks. Some inscrutable yet reasoning thing puts forth the molding of their features. The white whale tasks me; he heaps me. Yet he is but a mask. 'Tis the thing behind the mask I chiefly hate; the malignant thing that has plagued mankind since time began; the thing that maws and mutilates our race, not killing us outright but letting us live on, with half a heart and half a lung. "
First comment-suck that S.C.! lower your seat Matt for crying out loud -the coz
ReplyDeleteThis guy's a beast.
ReplyDeleteWhat a sexy beast!
ReplyDeleteHow come this "beast" don't do cross?
ReplyDelete18 upgrade points in ~6months.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to say all of the above.. ha ha ha.
ReplyDeleteWay to take it like a man, Matt. We love ya! Or at least Steve V does, but he told that to me in confidence so i'd appreciate it if you don't repeate it.
ReplyDeleteI don't think you can call a guy who cats up 2 times in 1 year a sandbagger. 5-3 now if he stays a cat 3 all year????
ReplyDeleteDude is either off the front or on his back.
ReplyDeleteThis dude will singlehandedly keep johnson and johnson and lubriderm in business. He probably wacks off with Qoleum too.
ReplyDeleteI hope the people who think this guy should cat up to 2 aren't the same people who have talked shit about him crashing. When you have the ability to be at the front of nearly every race you enter and you're in the mix to win it, shit is going to happen. Yeah more racing experience is what he needs, but as far as I'm concerned he should have every right to stay a 3 for another season if he wants.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous @9:07:
ReplyDeleteHis seat aint too high. His ass is too thick.
He looks about as pudgy as that Butterball dude.
I bet he snacks on tubs of Parkay. Being fat doesn't seem to hold you back around here in these weak ass Kansas races.
c) because he wants to be first in line at the Golden Corral
ReplyDeleteMy favorite thing about Matt is watching him physically dominate a bunch of 140lb 35 year olds with erectile disfunction that restrict their lifestyles more than professional racers do, and pay their coach $200 a month just to learn they've achieved the status of pack fill in the Cat 3 peloton.
ReplyDeleteI heard he lost 18lbs since that pic was taken. Sometimes baby fat takes awhile to come off.
ReplyDelete"My favorite thing about Matt is watching him physically dominate a bunch of 140lb 35 year olds with erectile disfunction that restrict their lifestyles more than professional racers do, and pay their coach $200 a month just to learn they've achieved the status of pack fill in the Cat 3 peloton."
ReplyDeleteWhat's up dude? You have a man-crush on him? Maybe you could offer to shave his legs or better yet be his fluffer before races.
I physically dominated a few 140lb, 35yr old women when I was in my 20s, too. Wasn't that difficult.
ReplyDeleteIf people were required to show an adequate amount of bike handling skills, Matt would never have gotten as far as he has. I have seen the aftermath of his destruction. For the person that said shit happens when you are at the front should know that it usually happens when he is there. It's not a coincident.
ReplyDeleteI saw this dude at the papillon crit last year appear miraculously from being totally dropped in the crit to being in the front somehow? thinking he caught the leading group when they passed him and finished with them.
ReplyDeleteThe officials on that race sucked last year and didn't catch it to pull him.
So he might be kind of a cheat as well.
Hey Zeus,
ReplyDeleteNowhere in his race history does it show any kind of result for that race. Do you have some evidence of him wrongfully taking his place at the podium? Seems like an extraordinary claim.
Actually, that claim made by Zeus is pretty extraordinary and completely false. Obviously he didn't see all of the race or wasn't paying that close of attention. Both myself and another teammate watched that whole race very intently and witnessed Matt bridge the gap from the main group to the breakaway group. Calling someone a cheat is a pretty serious claim and way out of line.
ReplyDeleteEric Stull
You Go Eric Stull
ReplyDeleteZeus is the real cheat by the way he killed his father Kronos and chained Prometheus to the Carcasses Mountains to have his liver ate by Vultures at dawn.. Zeus is a real shit stirrer. I will grant you free and safe access to all of the worldly Seas and Oceans and Rivers for that heroic defense of your teammate..
To take fair passage and proper flight through the troubled waters of this Epic tale. In search of Moby Dick "Matt " AKA "the White Whale" Eric "Starbuck" Stull Starbuck, first mate turns to Ahab and speaks his MIND.
ReplyDeleteEric STULL STARBUCK: To be enraged with a dumb brute that acted out of blind instinct is blasphemous.
Captain Ahab: Speak not to me of blasphemy, man; I'd strike the sun if it insulted me. Look ye, Eric Stull Starbuck, all visible objects are but as pasteboard masks. Some inscrutable yet reasoning thing puts forth the molding of their features. The white whale tasks me; he heaps me. Yet he is but a mask. 'Tis the thing behind the mask I chiefly hate; the malignant thing that has plagued mankind since time began; the thing that maws and mutilates our race, not killing us outright but letting us live on, with half a heart and half a lung. "
I just love all the awesome poetry the kid writes. Touching.
ReplyDelete