Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Dipsy doo douch-eroo!

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Whats worse than a sandbagger? A goddamn cheater!! r5 got a bunch of reports about dudes who thought it would be cool to ride around the barriers at Cross Out Cancer. Like Fun-Bobby until r5 and other racers started yelling at him for being a big douche. This picture is what you call karma, jackass.

You are at a cross race which is supposed to be fun. You are raising money to fight cancer which sucks. So you chumps who rode around the barriers must hate fun and love cancer.

Like this dude who should know much better- (correction: upon further review of the pictures, Shmalt-liquor just about ate it and was avoiding a wipeout so he is excused)
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Those of you who cheated disrespected your fellow racers and the small but dedicated Livestrong Army who worked hard to put on a great race. Contador may have juiced. The whole peloton probably is juiced. But at least none of them got caught taking a detour around the Tourmalet.

On a scale of 1-10, you assholes who rode around the barriers score a +15 on the douchebag scale.

90 comments:

  1. It's okay to talk about orange/black because Halloween candy is all around us.

    Otherwise, er, you'll see ...

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  2. Bills boys caught orangehanded!

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  3. What's the rule about how close the tape should be to the barriers? based on the above picture it look's like it's legal to ride where orange glo is riding becaue he's still within the tape.

    Shouldn't the tape be flush against the barriers so it's not possible to ride around them?

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  4. That tape was on the barriers at the start and by the open race had come undone. Everyone knows barriers are for riding over or jumping and i guarantee that orange bag knew he was in the wrong.
    -Wayland Smithers
    (advocate of men in spandex and Malibu Stacey doll collector)

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  5. "Anti-bagging authorities have lodged cases against an unspecified number of KC area racers, sources tell VeloNews.

    The U.S. Anti-Bagging Agency (USABA) will announce the findings in the coming weeks, the sources said.

    The alleged violations are primarily for unsportsmanlike behavior and general douchebauchery, rather than for positive sandbagging or cherry-picking, and are said to have originated with information provided to USABA and federal investigators by CAT6 fatty cyclist R5.

    The names will not be announced publicly until and unless the individual cases are resolved against the riders."

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  6. see the pictures that precede it...could be the explanation of why he was misdirected and not riding aroud it as indicated?

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/lanternerouge/5070580452/in/set-72157625013740351/

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  7. I rode through the tall grass on the left side of the picture. No tape was there to stop me, and every time I approached, I lost a pedal and accidentally veered that way.

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  8. F'in up a bunnyhop is still no excuse for going around a barrier.

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  9. ... cyclists were accused of having taken trains during the race

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  10. Sorry guys, that's why there are rules and the rules say stay within the tape. If the course setup was proper and legal then that would be an out of bounds issue.

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  11. If the local races keep doing a sub par job of course setup, they should absolutely expect this to happen. And by 'this' I mean a guy staying in the tape and managing his way around barriers.

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  12. Perhaps the officials should inspect the course.... the CHIEF REFEREE had no idea that the pit was not a one way traffic deal, and really tiny.

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  13. wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah,
    wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah,
    wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah,
    wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah,
    wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah,
    wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah,
    wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah,
    wah!

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  14. It may not have been properly taped at that spot but every single one of you KNOW what you are supposed to do at the barriers. The decision you make at that point says a lot about your character. Even if you are technically on the course, dodging that 3rd barrier violates the spirit of the race and competition and makes you a slimey piece of shit cheater.

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  15. 5A10 and 5A11. A set of three barriers isn't legal.

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  16. maybe 360 plant those when no one was lookin?

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  17. Was the course marked very well, the answer is no. Was Joe trying to take advantage of this, absolutely not, he is not that type of kid. It was the first race put on by these guys and I'm sure they will learn from their mistakes. In a perfect world the entire course should be taped (both sides) and the Chinese hats should only be allowed for payment sections. I expect next years course to be much better, so cut these guys some slack, it is not easy putting on a race.

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  18. r5 stands corrected on Joe. But the others guys who clearly dodged them are in the wrong.

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  19. Hey Adam/SC,

    If the express checkout lane at the grocery store says "about 15 items" do you show up there with 120 boxes of tampons for the clerk to scan?

    If a sign on the road says Speed Limit 25 MPH, do you drive 80?

    If the chalkboard outside the rides at Chuck E. Cheese reads "Only small children enter" do you and Aubree jump around in the plastic ball pit?

    Just because something's not spelled out or made explicitly clear in language that not even a corporate defense lawyer can parse doesn't mean you can go breaking rules. If there are barriers, you jump them, no matter what the rules say about the proximity of the ribbon.

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  20. logical fallacy

    All arguments have the same basic structure: A therefore B. They begin with one or more premises (A), which is a fact or assumption upon which the argument is based. They then apply a logical principle (therefore) to arrive at a conclusion (B). An example of a logical principle is that of equivalence. For example, if you begin with the premises that A=B and B=C, you can apply the logical principle of equivalence to conclude that A=C. A logical fallacy is a false or incorrect logical principle. An argument that is based upon a logical fallacy is therefore not valid. It is important to note that if the logic of an argument is valid then the conclusion must also be valid, which means that if the premises are all true then the conclusion must also be true. Valid logic applied to one or more false premises, however, leads to an invalid argument. Also, if an argument is not valid the conclusion may, by chance, still be true.

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  21. Cross Out Cancer by far was the best of the year! Very impressive for their first event! See you next week for Blvd Cup!

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  22. SC - so you're saying you rode around the barriers too? Lame...

    Joe was obviously knocked off his line and unintentionally veered around the last barrier. Would've happened no matter how tight the tape was to the obstacle. I think that's the reason why tape is used and not a jersey barrier for example. So you don't get freakin smeared when you accidently go off course.

    All the other guys that chose to ride around the barriers are d-bags.

    You go get 'em R5.

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  23. Wait, there was a plastic ball pit at cross our cancer?

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  24. So I guess since the third barrier was illegal it was okay to just ride around it.

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  25. What about procuring spare bikes during a race?

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  26. i went over the barriers, not around them. Besides, my barrier skills are so badass that going around them would actually be slower for me.

    All barrier dodging talk aside... i'm just thrilled there was yet another local cross race i could participate in.

    Thanks to all the folk's who made it happen!

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  27. Who is this Anonymous, and why does he/she argue with themselves?

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  28. Frank/Anonymous,

    Nice skinsuit!

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  29. SC,

    Did you give your bike to Tilford for him to ride around the barriers, who then gave it to Brian Jensen to ride the bumpy parts before giving it back to you while complaining about the bike?

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  30. sc no longer works here.

    Goodbye cruel world!

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  31. Margretta is wrong, she is reading the old rules which have since been updated for the 2010 season. They changed the height restriction and you can now have 6 artificial barriers on the course. It doesn't limit it to just two barriers. The triple barriers are legal, for that matter you could have six in a row now if you wanted. The only thing that did not conform to the rules was that the total number of barriers at this race was 7, instead of 6.

    Here is info taken from CX mag on the new rules:
    Course Design
    There are several important changes to course design as outlined below:

    The nature of the wooden planks has changed. Instead of having to be 40 cm high, they now can be up to 40 cm high. Also, the distance between the planks is now a range of four to six meters instead of the prescribed four meters.
    The number of obstacles has been changed from six total obstacles to six artificial obstacles. This might make it possible for some courses to have more total obstacles than in the past. However, the limiting factor is that obstacles can still only be 10% of the course, so if you have a 3K circuit, you can only have 300 meters of obstacles.
    The ban on artificial sand was removed and replaced with specifications that if you have artificial sand, it must be 40-80 meters long, straight, and have no lip up or down to access it.

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  32. Planks still have to be in pairs. Yes, they can be shorter. Yes there can be more than one set(USAC not UCI). Yes, they can be shorter than 40cm. Yes, they can be placed between four and six meters(pairs).

    CX Magazine paraphrased the UCI changes which were adopted by USAC.

    5.1.024

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  33. You can have six 'obstacles' total. One set of two planks = one 'obstacle'.

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  34. And two balls equals one baby

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  35. First thanks to all that came out and helped make our race a huge success. There is no one course that will make everyone happy. We did our best to make a fun yet challenging course with the terrain we were given to work with. Yes it was bumpy in spots. There was some issues with course marking and that is on us. We literally used every marking material we had and it still wasn't enough(especially in some of the turns),rookie mistake. The park did not allow us to set up until Sunday morning due to a huge cross country meet out there on Saturday(thus the full port-o-johns) and by that point it was too late to get more stuff. We will learn from what did and didn't work and make it even better next year.

    As for the barrier issue. I tried to announce before the earlier races that it was mandatory that you go over all barriers. I did not make that announcement for the Men Open, 2/3, or 3/4 race because I thought it would be a given. I guess I was wrong. Its not for me to judge you, if you went around them (and knew better) then its between you and the cycling gods.

    We are still going over the numbers, but the turn out looked to be the largest so far this season and based on that and the donations collected from the BBQ and raffle tickets it looks like we will be able to give a nice donation to the LIVESTRONG Army of Kansas City. Thank you again to all who came out.

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  36. I thought the race was way fun. Next year let's add a BBQ sandwich bonus. Every sandwich you eat= 1min bonus from your finishing time.

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  37. I guess that's one way to let r5 win a race

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  38. you fat midwesterners love flat courses. bunch of pussies

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  39. Not quite true. We KC-ers love short straight, 180 turn, short straight, 180 turn, short straight, 180 turn.

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  40. For the all turds that used the poor consturction of the course as an excuse to cheat! Fuck You!

    "Perhaps the officials" should fucking DQ your asses... Give me a break!

    Stack

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  41. Prairie Center Cyclocross in Olathe 2010October 13, 2010 at 1:01 PM

    Since KC weather sucks hard, Here's Your Future:

    Winter: MTB season, since no bugs, and no rain.
    Spring: CX, since it's rainy.
    Summer: TT, since the wind has mostly died down.
    Fall: Road, since it's what you want summer to be.

    Who's with me?

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  42. Otter: Germans?

    Boon: Forget it, he's rolling.

    Bluto: And it ain't over now. 'Cause when the goin' gets tough...the tough get goin'! Who's with me? Let's go!

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  43. Fuck You! I'm serious!

    "Perhaps the moderators" should fucking DQ your asses... Give me a break!

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  44. Maybe... it's not your choice though!

    Stack

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  45. Stack,

    why the quotation marks?

    "Perhaps the officials"

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  46. It was from an earlier post...

    "Perhaps the officials should inspect the course.... the CHIEF REFEREE had no idea that the pit was not a one way traffic deal, and really tiny."

    Seriously people, why so hostile? This isn't a PG rated blog. This isn't not for thin skin folk who get all twisted. If you're freaking out because of the post, you're guilty as charged by R5.

    Why cheat? For a nominal 3 second margin in an AM race? I am by no means the moral
    majority, hell I say "fuck," but if you scared... jump in my pocket!


    Stack

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  47. Hell.. i have bad grammer and can't spell neither... whatev'

    stack

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  48. Somebody is on roids!

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  49. on roids since i was 3.. bought my first cycle from r5.

    stack

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  50. ... "This isn't not for thin skin folk who get all twisted"...

    Actually, it is.

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  51. With the double negagive we're going to need to know what the meaning of the word "is" is.

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  52. Correction:

    negative

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  53. speaking of douche bags. who is getting twisted and freaking out? stack?

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  54. whats up with prairie cross? is that gonna happen?

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  55. what about that worm guy thats killing the 3/4s?

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  56. Again, if "worm" races all this year, and into next killing the 3/4 field, then we can talk. Otherwise, BEAT HIM.

    That's why we race!

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  57. "Worm" is a CAT 2 on the road...and the rules say what?

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  58. THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING FOR WEEKS. THANK YOU!

    Every class but Open is FULL of guys, and gals, who race in higher classes in other disciplines the rest of the year. And, while the RULES state that you race CX in above Cat4 category if you race road, MTB or TT above 'beginner,' this is completely ignored in KC.

    But if you show up with a sleeveless jersey, they'll send you home, while quoting the rule number.

    We're only a few races into the season, but it doesn't take a genius to see that the top five or ten in those Cat4 and 3/4 races is a joke.

    And the annual Vanishing of the the Newcomers begins, as they had NO idea how crazy those higher-number classes race, and NO idea they'd go down two or three laps against other "beginners."

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  59. You guys are too much.

    "Worm" just upgraded to a Cat 2 on the road late this season. I'm pretty sure "Worm" will upgrade in CX soon. Also, in case you hadn't noticed, he has raced the Open category a couple of times.

    Besides the "other discipline rule" is not mandatory. If you are a 2 on the road you MAY upgrade to a 2 in CX.

    "1D5. Cyclocross Conversion
    Cyclocross categories may also be upgraded by conversion from a rider‟s earned road or cross country category. If during the season, a rider upgrades his or her road category or XC category, the cyclocross category can be upgraded to match the road or XC category shown below by request of the rider or by request of the administrator."

    Finally, not every Road 2 should be a CX 2. Some people are strong but don't handle their bike so well. The skills component of CX makes it harder for some to apply their fitness.

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  60. True dat. I saw plenty of Cat1s laying on they sides this year. Suckas cant ride right.

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  61. Ease Up:

    If you're new to USA Cycling, you're Cat 4 in CX.

    If you have a USA Cycling license that is above "beginner" in any other discipline but CX, you can't race Cat 4 when going to CX, no matter how little you can control your bike.

    Maybe I'm wrong here, but this is how I read the rules. Maybe I AM wrong, since nobody who supposedly knows the rules adheres to this.

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  62. If we set the case of the Worm aside for a minute. The interpretation/implication of Ease Up's explanation suggests that Sandbagging is not only legal by USAC rules, but it's encouraged until an undesignated administrator steps in.

    If this is so, the worst part is that this blog becomes worthless. It should praise baggers for seeing how much bagging they can do before getting busted by the administrator.

    But, then bagging is no more bagging. It then might be called strategic-swag-winning or Swagging. Go Worm!

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  63. Sandbagging is legal. It's called the B races at CX nationals.

    The fact that people sandbag around here is pathetic.

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  64. I hope the Worm wooops all yer asses you low cat pussies.

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  65. He already has, twice, but it's still early in the season. You get the idea though. Support the "Swaggers", just don't tell the administrator.

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  66. While on the subject of the "worm" - it might help if you knew the whole story. He registered for the 2/3 race first and had a mechanical 5 minutes into the race. Not wanting to waste the day, he then registered for the 3/4 race.

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  67. Uh, Open?

    WTF do you think "Open" means? I got killed when I showed up late, missed the start of my race, raced open, blah, blah.

    I'm pretty sure the smartest of us don't hang out here.

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  68. Mechanical isnt an excuse to bag it

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  69. Open was at the same time as the 2/3 race so his mechanical caused him to miss Open as well. The only race left that day was 3/4...

    Oh well - he borrowed a SS yesterday and crushed that field too! Can't call him a bagger for beating Songer on a SS!

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  70. We should have a severe allergies class... What's up with all the newbs STILL complaining about bagging, shesh; Cross is like Tri's IMO, TOOOOOOOO many classes...

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  71. Too many classes?

    http://seattlecyclocross.com/?page_id=135

    THAT'S too many classes. KC's problem is that sandbagging/cherrypicking is an epidemic in all but the men's Open class.

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  72. I think peeps should give props to Britton, he's been in open before this was ever an "issue" <- Ghey; and races single speed. NICE!

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  73. People who race bicyclesOctober 18, 2010 at 11:10 AM

    We quote: "KC's problem is that sandbagging/cherrypicking is an epidemic"

    No, KC's problem is this dumbass blog and the loser comments: "I can't win, soze everybody is a sandbagger! Sniffle." Snicker.

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  74. "KC's problem is that sandbagging/cherrypicking is an epidemic in all but the men's Open class."

    you freaks mostly whine about Cat 4 "sandbagging". That indicates the great depth of wisdom and experience of the postings.

    Enlighten us about this "epidemic" sandbagging/cherrypicking in the dozen or so other categories (besides Open). Dipshits.

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  75. Prairie Center Cyclocross in Olathe 2010October 18, 2010 at 11:38 AM

    Lighten up, folks. And would someone please take Wink to homecoming?

    I'm feigning illness here, to keep from laughing out loud.

    http://onthebikeagain.blogspot.com/

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  76. anyone notice that roger dodger won the 4's again by like 2 minutes? looks like his wife even wrote in on his posting!!

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  77. Oh snap, not another wife support issue. Time to round up the troops, because supportive wives are not allowed on this sight.

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  78. I did notice that, and that he was even celebratory on the line. Embarrassing.

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  79. I'm ready for some fresh meat...how about this Collins guy who has been in the top 5 at all cat 4 races this year...and in his third season of racing.

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  80. Rob,
    Thanks to you and your crew for hosting "Cross out Cancer" at Shawnee Mission Park. I'm glad to hear that you raised some needed funds for such a great cause. For a first time event I give it 2 thumbs up. By the smiles I could see on the 200+ racers that were there, I'd say it was a big success. Personally, I loved the course.
    As a promoter of events for over 15 years, I know how much time and effort it takes to put on one of these events and good promoters are always open to "Constructive Suggestions" as we all want to improve our product and give our riders the best racing experience possible. I'm sure you have been "reading between the lines" with some of these posts and suggestions.
    I'm already looking forward to Cross out Cancer in 2011.

    Thanks again!

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  81. I don't think it's bagging as long as you're still getting your ass kicked in other cities.

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  82. When ANY of us travel outside KC, we dont have stellar results! So that leads me to believe that the ones bitching about bagging around here, just need to train harder HTFU and STFU!

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  83. Yeah so if you get your butt kicked out of town that means you should sandbag at home to make your ego feel better? How the fuck are you ever going to get faster if all you do is 'bag the fat boys? You bagger defenders are idiots.

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  84. Ah yes, the blog for the Cat 4 poseurs who feel cheated by the other Cat 4's!

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