Monday, December 5, 2011

This is how racing works:

You borrow a CX bike and destroy the 4's. Don't even wait around to get called out, CTFU then proceed to smoke the 3's. No one is gonna complain if he stays a 3 for the rest of the season since he's only done a total of 9 races. But dude lines up in the open anyway. Finish near the back of the pack in epic conditions but who cares he's gonna see what he got. With a name like this he's got a lot to live up to and it looks like he's doing it the way its supposed to be done.
*btw ditch the arm and leg warmers in conditions like this. All they do is get wet and slow you down.

Some of you bagger apologists out there would probably be ok with Tilford racing the 3/4's because if you can't beat him, then you obviously aren't working hard enough. What a load of shit. Why do you think we have categories?

And for those of you who think KC sucks when it comes to national/regional races just take a look at recent results. Couple dudes in the top 10 in the 2's at Jingle. Dudes in the top 5 and top 30s in massive fields at Louisville. And not to mention past success in the masters by your local favorite type-A 360 dbags and boys in orange. So don't gimme that shit about about not being able to compete with 2's outside our area.

And BTW KC where were you guys last weekend? You embarrassed yourselves by getting outnumbered by dudes from the east.


  1. Evan Fast Fan Club PresidentDecember 5, 2011 at 12:19 PM

    R5...this is the best post you have ever done. This dude, Fast, is the man. I've never met him personally, but I can tell this dude is legit. The guys (you know who you are) who have been consistently placing top 5 in 3's this year need to take an ole' play out out of the Evan Fast playbook.

  2. Legit? Really? He's a 3. Send him to regional and national UCI races then we'll see if he's legit.

  3. Whatever he is, he aint no pussy like some of you.

  4. Dude riding a 5 year old bike, clinchers, 9 speed, 2 sizes too small, no embro, leg/arm warmers, bibs/ss(no skinsuit), that don't bother me at all.

    ankle socks, they bother me. fix it fast!

  5. What's wrong with ankle socks?


  7. Fast will get a lot faster racing in the open race. Man reminds me of Coe, Coe might have raced 1 3 race before deciding he was tired of riding against slow people.

    No point winning against a bunch of punks who barely show up when it is wet.

  8. I see how one can get faster racing open, i also see how one can get discouraged racing open and quit racing all together. Then you would get very slow.

  9. Like Mark Cole, where'd that guy go? At least Buta and Hershey are still taking the bruises in the open.

  10. Kudos to Evan, I watched him race, and he is badass! AND you nailed it R5, where are the KS racers? There are so many idle teams around here that really are just clubs with a big budget. If you are going to call yourself a team, and be on a team, then RACE. You dont need all the fancy shit, big sponsor $$, just balls. Stop pretending!

  11. WTF are you idiots talking about?????

    " many idle teams around here.."
    "..clubs with a big budget."
    "..big sponsor $$,.."


    Approx 50% KS Boss Cross 4
    Approx 25% KS at MO Championships

  12. All I am saying, is I got soaking wet and muddy, and loved it this past weekend. Where was everyone else?? Home on the computer with a bag of cheetos, calling everyone else out...Douches.

    As far as the idle teams, folks are quick to jump into a weekday training ride, but rarely toe the line in a race. FACT

    There are several teams around here with some pretty sweet sponsorship $$ that don't do jack shit with it...other than have nice "race clothes" and cool parties, and on occasion, if the weather is perfect, show up at a race.

  13. "There are several teams around here with some pretty sweet sponsorship $$ that don't do jack shit with it..."


  14. Team Sky never shows up to any road races around here, probably because they're worried Ochs is going to crash them out and break their Dogma's, wait, Ochs disappeared, i dont know what their excuse it. Limy bastards.

    Dont even get me started on Lotto. Bunch of wanna be cyclists sitting around coffee shops all day tickling their balls. Gilber cant hold a candle to Schmalz anyway, unless were talking about pockmarks.

    Landbouwkrediet-Colnago still hasn't sent Nys to a KC race, word on the street is that he dosen't want to go head to head with the Donn... and he's afraid to race a full hour at the Boss Cross events. The Belgians are a bunch of pansies when it comes to cross.

    And where the hell has Julian Absalon been? Orbea has their head up their ass becasue i aint see him anywhere. There was a rumor he would be attending Bone Bender but when the starters pistol went off he was nowhere to be found. Again, word on the street is that he didnt' want to go up against the Donn who was this time paired with the equally lethal Steinmetz, turns out that it was Schottler he should have been worried about, and maybe that Pete Henry guy.

    I heard Vinikourov is thinking about racing Bazaar next year. If you can get in a winning break with him you may score some major cash by letting him win, although you'll need a needle in your ass to get in that break in the first place.

    Cavendish was going to do the entire Tour of KC this year but then Holly Starr of 39 the spot stopped returning his calls. Cav is a serious tit man.

    And the biggest no show of all, Cadel Evans of BMC. Dude grew up in Platte City and cut his teeth at the Spring Fling and Perry Dam races and now he cant even be bothered to show up for a Tuesday Night crit? What a tosser. Take your minature dog, cut off its head, and choke on it you corncob!

  15. That is the funniest thing I have ever read on this POS blog! Nicely Done!

  16. You bitches that skipped out on the races last weekend should not get to race for the rest of the year. Bunch of pussies got BITCH SLAPPED by the St Losers who showed up in droves. I'm ashamed of our scene. Goddamn you didnt want to get no mud on your bikes. Well then you don't fuckin deserve it. Go to spin class or something.

  17. This guy is an idoit.

  18. I thougth he made a great point, lots of folks seemed to stay home instead of going to their state championship race.

  19. Whoever said that The Black Sheep Cartel writer is an idiot should go fuck themselves. You're just pissed because you probably got called out for being a pussy.

  20. Aspire to greatness.


  21. I like how people continue to talk about Ochs, even though he hasn't wrecked a field in probably over a year.

    I heard he's into LARPing now.

  22. Wallace 3-4? Edwards? WTF.

    AK is kicking some ass, bueno riding, guy.

  23. @ Wallace 3-4? Ewards? WTF? Maybe you didn't noticed but neither one of those guys have raced a bike in two years. You're just pissed they whipped your ass.

  24. I'm thinking wallace and edwards bought 1 day licenses, its not like they won. The real bagger won.

  25. "@ December 29 Anon" guy:

    Hi, r5, Alex and/or Chris.


  26. i like butter. whole lot a butter.

  27. I'm takin' whiskey to the party tonight
    And I'm lookin' for somebody to squeeze. Uh! Uh!
    I hear you're lookin' for somebody to fight
    Baby, don't get uptight
    Baby please